Scary night!

I thought I was going to die this morning, seriously. It was 4 am, something like that, and I woke up in so much pain! I could not move, I was so weak. Then my heart would accelerate and slow down, my chest was aching. Somehow I knew it was because of my fast. Normally I have soup for dinner when I'm fasting it's 100 kcal but it's liquid, well, it keeps me going. Only these past two days I just drank tea. I was freaking scared I didn't know what to do, I couldn't go back to sleep. It was hurting so bad. But I didn't want to eat you know, after all my hard work. Still I was terrified, so I crawled out of bed, don't know where I found the strength to do so. By the time I got to the kitchen I was shaking, I could feel my body shutting down. I managed to grab a banana, first thing I saw thank God it wasn't something fatty, so I sat down I ate it super slowly, I got better instantly. But I was still shaking so I ate another one. Gross part ahead! Now the strangest thing was that I pooped right away, obviously it was the bananas cause it was the only food in my belly.
At seven am I ate 2 apples just to prevent me from passing out at school. When I got home I almost didn't make it through the front door. So I ate some bean sprouts, spinach and cucumber. That's all had the entire day, I'm so disappointed I didn't fast today :( Tomorrow and Friday I'm going to work EXTRA hard to make it for it. Hope you're all doing well.

Stay Strong and Remember to Think Positive

xoxo

I loooooooooove fasts!

I used to hate fasting cause I could never finish one and then I would just eat everything that was in front of me for I was so starving. But strangely enough, even though, I am hungry I am able to ignore it completely. I think it's because of this blog, I feel like since I wrote it down and told people I was going to fast till Saturday I HAVE to do it. Like I can't disappoint whoever read what I said. So far I lost only half a pound but I refuse to give up. I keep telling myself I still have 4 days, although the chances of being 113 by the end of the week are practically zero, I gotta try as hard as I can! On working out I am walking around 3 miles everyday then 40 minutes of yoga plus 20 minutes of strength training and to finish 30 minutes of spinning. With this amount of exercise while fasting I was expecting to drop those extra pounds in a blink of an eye so I'm kinda bummed... anyways, that's it.

Stay Strong and remember to Think Positive

xoxo

My fast worked!

Super duper excited. I fasted for two days as I said I would and on Saturday morning my weight was... drum roll please: 119,4!! YAAAAAAAY :D. I did not gain or lose anything from Saturday to Sunday and I don't think my weight will change by Monday. But still it's something to be celebrated so I bought myself a pair of fake lashes (I'll wear them on Halloween). About my costume, all of the girls are going as witches or Mean Girls like costumes (outrageously shorts skirts, not in a sexy way, kinda of slutty), I wanted to be different this year. A real Halloween costume. I'll be Morticia Addams! I always loved her, everyone in my family and my friends say I look like her just because of my jet black long straight hair and my usual black clothes. Then I thought why not? It's a plain costume but if I do a killer make - up and put on a great pair of heels I'll look sexy, since her dress it's form - fitting, and most importantly classy.
Of course I'm freaking out I'll look like a fat cow, thankfully I have 6 days to kick it in the work out department (which surprisingly I am enjoying). Also I decided I'll fast the entire week in the hopes of losing at least 6 more pounds. Wish me luck girls! Hope you are all doing great!

Stay Strong and remember to Think Positive

xoxo

Fasting

I woke up this morning and thankfully I'd lost 3 lbs. Right now I weigh exactly 122,5. After the excitement worn out I was actually really bummed I'd just managed to lost three pounds. So I decided to fast today and tomorrow, only to speed up my weight loss. I did not take laxatives however, I realized it was better to stay away from it altogether.My fast is going really well I didn't even chew gum today. I walked a mile and worked out for over an hour. Guessing I burnt 250 kcal. Which makes me happy :D
I am so glad I made through my fast today, I don't know if it's just with me but if I get past the first 24 hours I can go without eating for over a week. Another great thing about fasting is that, to me at least, when I'm done with it even though I'm hungry I don't get that binge feeling, you know? I feel like grabbing a carrot or eating some peas (my favorite vegetable EVER!).

Stay Strong and remember to Think Positive

xoxo

Laxatives

Another reason I'm not excited at all about my plan B is because I've been, as I cannot think of any other way to put it, addicted to laxatives. If my math is right (which most likely is cause I'm a math geek) I've taken more than 600, yes - SIX HUNDRED laxatives, this year alone. When I came to that realization (like 4 days ago) I decided I had to put an end to that vicious cycle. I've been 'clean' since Sunday which is not a long period of time but as I was used to taking 2 a day it's quite a milestone. I took them practically every single day, but back in May I was like obsessed I would go and swallow 8 at a time. One day I think I had 16, or somewhere around that. on that day I flipped out. I know laxatives are super bad for you, your overall health and your heart. But I could NOT stop. So I wanted to be healthier and started taking the usual 2 per day, which is the maximum dose you are allowed to take. It's quite shocking to remember that I used to take eight times more than the amount considered healthy.
I just really hope that if I do have to take them I don't go back to those habits.

Stay Strong and remember to Think Positive

xoxo

Day 3

I guess I'm not really creative when it comes to post titles... oh, well. haha. So I'm feeling so guilty I feel like I've eaten so freaking much today :( For breakfast one banana, lunch two apples, another banana after I worked out and a bunch of grapes. They are all free which is incredible, but in my mind it seems like a loooot. As far as working out goes, I ran to the supermarket which is about 1.5 miles and walked (I couldn't run cause of the bags I was carrying) back. 3 miles. Never thought I could do that, I'm really lazy. It showed me I can do so much more than I give myself credit. To top it off half an hour of yoga plus twenty minutes of strength training. Although I don't know how many calories I burnt it's bound to be more than my intake for the day (I hope).
I'm still not sure I'll lose enough pounds to reach my goal for the week (7 lbs), but I won't let this uncertainty set me back. However I do have a back up plan, tomorrow I'll weight myself if I'm not 3 lbs lighter, I'll fast for two days and pray it works. If that doesn't work either I'll have to take some laxatives and do the lemonade cleanse for the next entire week. That will definitely do it I only wish I don't have do go that far, I'm really NOT keen on the idea of drinking that gross lemon juice for seven days. Not at all.

Stay Strong and remember to Think Positive

xoxo

Day 2

End of day 2 and I did a good job today, not like yesterday, but still. I had one banana (free) for breakfast, a salad (free) for lunch with a little bit of soy sauce (20 kcal), two slices of melon (free) for dessert. After I worked out for two hours (major accomplishment here guys, hate it so much, but if the numbers on the scale go down it's all worth it) I was staaaaaaaaarving so freaking bad I just wanted to grab the pizza's leftovers from the weekend and devour them. Luckily I was able to stop myself and instead ate two apples (free!), yay me! I felt a little bit of guilt for having two instead of one I have to confess, still I convinced myself I did a great job, you know, for not gobbling up that pizza. Again, my lovely mom offered me a truffle, which I accepted... 120 kcal. She's gonna have to stop buying truffles, it totally ruins all my hard work. Anyways, it was a good day I was allowed 300 kcal and I only consumed 140 kcal and I burnt around 220 kcals. Even after the truffle incident I managed to stick to my goal for the day. One thing I'm not succeeding is drinking enough water, I may have drunk 1L, if that. Gotta fix that, starting tomorrow :)

Stay Strong and remember to Think Positive

xoxox